We used this list for Lifespan Integration work, following the LI model. My insiders, who had been moved out of play and got stuck, were introduced to the rest of their life-
All the signs were there that I did in fact have feelings, but initially I could not link these physical events with having an emotion, and I certainly could not put a name to them. Frequently my counsellor would gently remind me to notice what was happening in my body.
Recently we have started looking again at one of the difficult things on my LI list. I asked what sort of thing someone might feel if this happened to them, and what they might feel about the other people involved. In a way it gave me permission to have feelings, and gave me some ideas about what a tight tummy might be about. Emotions were not voiced so they went inside. I think it would be helpful to do this reflection for more of my list.
The question I asked last week was whether people usually had an emotion connected to an event that they remembered in their chronological memory. That’s the area in our brain where we remember neatly-
Many people who employ the dissociative survival technique have some amnesia relating to difficult events. I knew some information about what my insiders had experienced, but I have ‘feelings amnesia’. I gather it is possible for people to feel more than one thing at the same time. So now I have permission to have mixed feelings!
Perhaps it is time to make a ‘Sad’, ‘Bad’, ‘Glad’, ‘Mad’ list again, and this time try and record what I feel rather than what I think the counsellor wants me to feel. I smile then, and feel slightly mischievous, mixed with excited, and a tinge of nervous.
[For more information about Lifespan Integration go to www.lifespanintegration.com.]